As a child, when I was done playing I'd ask my mom if I could go home. If I was playing at the park and no longer having fun, we'd just go home. There are times I'd like to quit this game of diabetes and go back "home". Oh if it only was that simple!
I do have to admit there was a slight amount of novelty when I was first diagnosed with gestational diabetes in early 1993. I love gadgets, so getting a meter was somewhat fun. Learning about my special diet was kind of like a game. However, eating using a strict exchange menu got old really fast. Thankfully, since I was dealing with gestational diabetes, I got to go "home" after my baby was born. Back to my world without diabetes. Yes, I dealt with gestational diabetes four more times, but I knew at the end I'd go "home" to my non-diabetic life after the birth of my children.
Then came March 2008 and my diagnosis of Type 2 diabetes. There was no going home this time. There was a change of address with no return to the previous life without diabetes. When I was first diagnosed it was almost a relief. Yes, I know that sounds strange, but with my family history of Type 2 and my personal history with gestational diabetes I knew it was just a matter of time before I got my own diagnosis of Type 2. I felt like a ticking time bomb.
Thankfully I was prepared.
Or so I thought.
Even though I had dealt with gestational diabetes and had a family history of Type 2 diabetes, nothing can truly prepare you for a life with Type 2. Nothing can ever prepare you for a life with any chronic illness. The ups and downs. The medical tests and equipment. Feeling like food is medicine versus enjoyment. The highs and lows. The icky feelings when your numbers are not right. The frustration of trying hard. The disappointment in not wanting to try at all.
I'm done! Can I go home now?
Through this journey, I have found a new home. A home with the DOC (diabetes online community). A home with my caring medical team. A home where I can find a shoulder to lean on when it's just getting too hard.
I'm not done yet and I am home.