New year, new me? That isn’t so much for me in terms of all the changes I want to make. We’re always changing and striving to do better. But there’s new year, “same me” which really only applies when I’m joking.
But this is how I look at that phrase:
New year, new me- I’m not the same person I was about a year ago. I’ve grown and changed- it’s inevitable. It isn’t just about the resolutions or the life changes. It’s just how it is. (But- I do like to make resolutions!)
A year ago, I didn’t have my diagnoses of PCOS and endometriosis. Diagnoses I should have had a long time ago. At least now, I have answers and explanations for things while I try to figure it all out.
A year ago, I was still trying to find the right providers for my healthcare team. I only had two members- a primary care physician and a psychiatrist (for my ADHD and anxiety medications). Now, I have an endocrinologist I like, a counselor I feel comfortable with, and an OBGYN (OFFICE!!!) willing to figure things out with me. Having a healthcare team you trust and like is so important when you have multiple chronic illnesses.
But at least I have a healthcare team on my side and people to reach out to who get it. This makes the world of difference.
It’s been 6 months of what I dread. Trial and error. 6 months of not trusting my body. It’s also been 6 months of raising awareness and finding something else I’m passionate about.
During this six months, I got to experience what it was like to not have a period any more. No crazy blood sugar swings? Or insomnia? Face clearing up? Less exhaustion? No debilitating pain? Yes please! That's my goal for all of this: no period.
So that’s why, when my body again had goals of having a period no matter what… even with my new birth control, my heart sank. I want things to just work. I already did this with the diagnoses of PCOS and endometriosis. Chronic illness is always about figuring things out because things change (there's that change again!). At least, I know what is actually “normal” so that’s a plus. It’s a goal. Hopefully, over the next few months, we’ll find something that works.
In mid-December, the OBGYN had me take birth control twice a day for a few days, and that got it to stop for a little bit. My stomach wasn't happy at all. Now my period just comes in waves which is slightly more manageable. Time to figure out what to try next...
So new year, new me! This is what that phrase means to me.