Diabetes has certainly had its time in the spotlight so far in my pregnancy. But this week it has behaved enough to let me enjoy being pregnant without worrying constantly. My belly is protruding out into a nice round shape, and I feel very beautiful when I look at myself in the mirror. We've also been busy working on the nursery and setting up the room for our little girl. The room looks like there's someone already living there, even though she won't be here for another three months. I didn't have any appointments this week and no reminders that I'm considered a high risk pregnancy, just a lovely pregnant woman.
On the diabetes side of things, though, I have developed a routine of increasing my basal rates any time my nighttime levels go above normal. I'm now up to over 25 units a day for basals and my insulin:carb ratio is around 1:7. I'm trying to stay ahead of the game with the insulin resistance by making small changes every few days, because a trend can be defined in a few days with pregnancy. But I've also read that the most dramatic changes in insulin needs occur during the mid- to late second trimester, which will end for me in two weeks. So hopefully I'm coming to some sort of plateau with my basal increases and can ride out these rates for more than a week or two.
And I received the greatest gift on Valentine's Day from my husband, and he didn't even realize it was a gift. I overheard him telling someone about my pregnancy and how well I was doing. I also heard him say how proud he was of me for handling this all so well. I had to wipe away the "allergies" I was having so he wouldn't know I was listening. He's been my rock during all of this, including the time when my blood sugar was high and he had to lift me off the bathroom floor because I was crying so hard. He's said before that he wishes he could take some of this on himself, and sometimes I wish he could.
Our families are getting excited, too. Ever since we found out that we're having a girl, they have been referring to the baby by her name. Now, saying her name is so fluid and natural, as if she's already here. And we're getting to the fun part of baby planning that involves arranging the nursery and getting all the essential gear. Maybe it's my nesting mood, or whatever the books call it, but I was absolutely giddy while I was putting the stroller together. I don't know any other time that I would be excited to be so constructive.
I feel like the only reason I've been able to thoroughly enjoy this past week in my pregnancy is because I've had a handle on my diabetes. I'm so glad that I have been able to relish in being pregnant and feeling her move and get excited about it, but I hate that my mood is first dictated by how my diabetes is doing. This was the case before I got pregnant, though. My mood is greatly affected by the number I see on my meter. I'm not sure there will ever be a time that it won't be that way. In any case, I want to frame this week in my mind and remember my pregnancy this way--joyful, excited, and beautiful.