There's been a lot of changes going on in my body recently. My abdominal muscles are stretching out to the point where I have cramps at the most inconvenient times. My temperament, which used to resemble something of patience, is now extremely short and irritable at the most insignificant things. And my blood sugars that I used to have somewhat control over, have now decided to go berserk on me for no reason whatsoever. Well, I know the reason, my pregnancy is progressing and the growing placenta is causing me some major insulin resistance. I get frustrated when my numbers go wild for an unknown reason, but when I cause the wild roller coaster because of my own mistake, I get more upset.
Before I got pregnant, I sent myself into a mini bootcamp of diabetes management. I wanted to make sure that my bolus ratios, insulin time, basal rates, etc. were spot on so that when I got pregnant, things would theoretically go off without a hitch. I didn't expect a first trimester filled with so many lows and the glorious morning sickness would derail me so much. I had no idea how much insulin to take because I didn't know if I was going to keep all of my food down. And I became afraid to take the entire amount of bolus insulin for fear of going low later on. So there was a lot of guessing on my part when it came to food and bolusing; thankfully, my numbers never suffered greatly for it.
Now that I'm out of the trenches of the first trimester and headed into the latter half of the second trimester, I've noticed that I need to have the same diligence with testing that I had pre-pregnancy. Otherwise, I end up going high and staying there for several hours, stacking on correction after correction, usually with a few choice words for diabetes thrown in. I know that the surge in my numbers is partly because of my pregnancy but also due to the fact that I'm not counting my carbs as much as I should. So I've made diligent attempts to get back to accurate carb counting and trusting my bolus ratios to keep me at a steady level. Even when we go out to eat, I try to look up my food in an online database or my pocket-size calorie dictionary to give me a better guess than looking at my plate and saying, "Oh, that looks like about 6 units."
I also need to be more careful about tending my lows. My biggest problem with treating lows is the time it takes for me to come up. If I don't start feeling better after 5 or 10 minutes, I think I didn't drink enough juice or I need 2 more cookies to help. Then I end up over-correcting and needing insulin to fix a high. My patience has grown thinner (see first paragraph), but that doesn't mean I should throw out the sacred diabetes rule book and wait at least 15 minutes for my blood sugar to come up. It's a different world from the first trimester, when I needed to mainline grape juice in order to make it through the day. I need to take the emergency mindset out of my head, and be patient that 15 g of apple juice will work in time.
I've had a fairly easy pregnancy thus far, and I'm incredibly grateful for that. But I know that things will start to get harder with increasing weight gain (up 16 lbs so far), more monitoring (I start going to my doctor every 2 weeks soon), and discussing the big day (will I need an induction?). None of these things are going to be easy if I can't wrangle in my numbers. My averages are still fine (around 120 mg/dL give or take), but I can't handle the roller coaster of 200 to 50 mg/dL in an hour or less. If I could be a robot for the rest of my pregnancy, I would because a lot of my mistakes come from dealing with diabetes on an emotional level. But I'm pretty sure my daughter would not to like to have a robot as a mom, or maybe she would like all the lights and sounds.