When did it all begin the cycle of overeating and dieting? I was always a "big person", taller in height and larger in body size for my peer group and my generation. So in order to be smaller I actually got bigger because dieting was depriving and then I had to fill myself up to make up for the depravation (translation: overeat). Hence the birth of a terrible cycle of self denial with the illusion I was "in control" and then to my horror I was "out of control" eating everything I could and completely losing track of reading my hunger cues and balanced routines about eating. My Mom, who I love dearly, had some strange ideas about food. She grew up in the Depression, in a large family, so food was a scarce commodity. Anything sweet was precious and had to be consumed completely and immediately. This effected me in my habits about foods with sugar and carbohydrates. Eat it all and quickly!! Then we get the brain effect going, all those chemicals lighting up and a family history of diabetes and a perfect storm!!!
So why am I telling you all of this? First, to reach out to those who can identify and second to figure out the solutions.
Look for balance in eating avoiding extremes of strict unsustainable eating or unrestrained thoughtless eating.
If I overeat try to move from self loathing to compassion and hope that I can return to healthy eating. It is not black and white, that it is all over. I can return to balanced eating as my relationship with food.
As always, I welcome your thoughts.