September 13, 2010
Things are still sailing along, and I don’t have anything new to report on the pregnancy front. I am having a Level II ultrasound this week which will provide a more in depth look at the baby’s development including the four chambers of the heart, the kidneys, the brain, the bladder and much more. My OB recommended the Level II ultrasound because of my diabetes so they can make sure everything is on track and to monitor if the baby is getting too big. We will also be able to find out the gender of the baby. At this point my husband and I have completely different opinions about whether we should find out the baby’s gender or not. He wants to wait until the delivery, but I want to know.
By nature I am a planner and therefore I want to know, but he feels like waiting until the delivery will be one of life’s biggest surprises. He is right about the surprise part, but for some reason I really want to know what we are having. I feel like knowing the gender will help me with the bonding process so I can envision what life will be like with a “little girl” or a “little boy.” I also feel like there are so many aspects of this pregnancy that are out of my hands that I find some comfort in knowing the gender. I’m not sure what we finally decide when the time comes on Thurs. but I know it will be the right decision.
I’m not sure how this relates to having diabetes, but sometimes I feel like the unpredictability of living with diabetes causes me to clamp down extra hard on the variables in my life that I can control. Despite our best efforts sometimes we have unexplained high blood sugars that leave us confused with a headache or low blood sugars that leave us shaking and sweaty. Sometimes we have no idea how many carbs are in a certain meal so we do our best to guess how much we should bolus in hopes of getting close enough. We often go through the mental checklist of wondering whether our erratic blood sugars can be attributed to too much stress, not enough sleep, lack of exercise, poor absorption, site selection, infusion issues, tubing issues, over-bolusing, under-bolusing, changing basal rates, too many carbs, not enough carbs, …… and the list goes on.
I know there is no surprise like hearing those famous words moments after delivery of “It’s a Boy” or “It’s a Girl,” but honestly in one way or another it seems like each day is full of surprises for me. I can’t help but feel a sense of peace and reduced stress if I have plan.