June 5, 2011
So what is up with me today? I am not back on the wagon yet but at least it is circling the neighborhood.
June 5, 2011
So what is up with me today? I am not back on the wagon yet but at least it is circling the neighborhood.
June 2, 2011
Much like an Alcoholic, I have fallen off the wagon. Maybe we should get chips like they do. The poker kind not the lays kind.
May 19, 2011
Not much to say this week.
Not much to say this week.
Probably why I procrastinated this week's blog. Choir is over for the season. Summer is coming. Not much going on.
I finally did sign up for the Avon Walk. Now, I need to start training. No more off the beaten path with the diet and execise. Time to get back to serious.
I have experienced some success but I need to get back on task before I gain it all back and find myself at the starting line. Walking is a fairly easy exercise and thankfully my legs still work so I have no excuses. It is free. Just costs me a bit of time. Hopefully I can get motivated now to kiss my hiatus goodbye. Still feeling pretty good even though my numbers are not in their record lows like they were in the previous weeks. Still better than before so I am not verving off completely. Mildly rebellious.
Excited to see you sisters at the quarterly meeting here in Raleigh on Saturday.
Good night world. Keep pressing forward ladies.
May 10, 2011
Baby steps to good health.
I have been working on my weight and my A1c for a couple months now. I told you girls about that. I also told you about my impending insulin pump and that my doctor put me on a new medication in the meantime of getting my insulin pump approved. Well good news. Becasue of my progress on the Center for Medical Weight Loss program I have dropped (and managed to keep off) 12lbs. Would be more if I behaved 100% but you know how dieting is!! :-) My A1c dropped to 6.2 as of my checkup a couple weeks ago, we cut my insulin in half, going off my Janumet in favor of Metformin, and my doctor recommends me sending the pump back. Woohoo!! I am so excited. That sucker is expensive among other things.
Lots more work yet to be done. More losing. Keeping the weight and the A1c down. Work is still a nightmare so stress eating hasn't been eliminated but seeing some progress does motivate me to cutback. I try to manage my stress with a lunchtime walk instead of junk. This new eating plan has actually caused my sugar to be lower than my norm obviously and I am having "lows". Low for me is 100-120 and I have actually hit 85/90 a few times. It is different kinda low for a Type II than a Type I I imagine. I don't think 85 is a true low for a Type I but I am not certain. I spoke to my doctor about this the first time I experienced this crappy feeling and asked her that even though I wasn't truly low by definition, if this was my body reacting to this new level. It took a couple times before I was able to get her to say agree. I am not sure if I just didn't explain myself correctly. I was having an episode one time when I called her.
I am grateful to have a couple coworkers on task to assist should I get a low. They know where my glucose tablets are, well now that I put them back in my purse. I guess I need to be more diligent in being prepared now that I am actually seeing some progress. Woohoo!! Bikini season here I come. Not really. No one needs to see that.
Arpil 30th, 1011
We are family! If you didn't know it before, you certainly know it now.
Sorry that I have been away for a couple weeks. I am back at it. I have sooooo much to talk about but I need to get to bed so that I can join you conference attendees in the morning for the Orange:Will walk.
Today was the first full day of the Weekend for Women held in Raleigh. As expected, it was chalked full of useful information, fabulous ladies, great food, gifts, and oh yes, a little dancing. Apparently "Girls (really do) Just Wanna Have Fun". And fun was had. We got emotional with some of the stories. The challenges that you have faced and overcome. The strength among you fabulous women. One person has dealt with diabetes for 57 years. Amen! You go girl! There was mention of how there was a time when there weren't meters to test sugars. How did you guys do it? I bow to you ladies. There are some strong women in Raleigh tonight. Tired most likely but still very strong.
I will have to go through my notes to talk about specifics here in my next blog or two so this entry will be my recount of the today using music. Music is a big thing in my life. (sidenote, my showchoir is going to be featured on a TV show called America Sings airing on Gospel Music Channel but I am sure I will talk about that more later in my success update.) Anyway, take away my TV and I could survive but take away my music and you might as well just shoot me. So here goes. Give me a beat (nod to Janet Jackson).
My day started off with a couple sessions that specifically touched on dealing with stress. If you know anything about me, you know that is an understatement. There needs to be a new word to describe the ultra stress I have felt lately but let's not go there tonight. I am on a conference high. No need to bring me, or you, down.
Basically I learned not to let my circumstances dictate and have so much control over my life. My health is important. I deserve and owe it to myself and my family and friends, to take care of me and make my health a priority. I need to incorporate this breathing technique that was mentioned in both my first two sessions.
Gloria Loring (of Days of our Lives and the 80's hit song "Friends and Lovers") sang a version of "The Prayer". That song always makes me weepy. It was a touching start to what becomes a very touching day.
In our Celebration Dinner we heard several songs and we actually had an opportunity to dance to a couple. One was Alicia Keys' "Superwoman". Never heard it before but had to Google it as it is now going on my iPod. Here is the link to the song with the words. I copied a few for you below it.
~~~~~Let me tell you. I am a superwoman.
Yes, I am. Yes she is.
See, even when I am a mess, I still put on a vest.
With an 'S' on my chest.
Oh yes, I'm a superwoman.
Yes I am. Said yes I am. Oh yes you are.~~~~
And girls, let me tell you, that yes you are! Diabetes affects every part of your life. It is not going away. It is a forever friend and you deserve praise for managing it.
"We are Family! I got all my (diabetes) sisters with me". We got our groove back with this one ladies didn't we?!? I heard it on the way home too. So it must be true. This group is such a godsend for so many people. I think one of the speakers, maybe even a couple actually, mentioned how she was embarassed and felt isolated because no one else had diabetes in her life and she had no one to talk to about it. No one understood how it is to micromanage this disease. It is a 24/7 guest. Whether welcomed or not, it is here and taking up permanent residence. You have a lot of support and girlfriends around to lift you up out of the muck of life and help dust you off. You are not going to be on all the time. Just give it your best shot. (hmmm, look another song reference. That one was an accident but hey, I told you music is important to me. It just comes out naturally.)
A couple people recognized me as the Type II blogger. I wasn't expecting to be recognized. I don't know why that didn't occur to me. I am slow. Anyway, one of you even thanked me. That was sweet! You like me. You really like me. Well, you are at least reading. Hopefully there are some helpful bits in these rants of mine somewhere.
Next year let's add We're All in This Together from High School Musical. Or We Go Together from Grease. A little You are Not Alone by Michael Jackson. I bet we could rock those too. Flash Mob style!
The point is. You have a BIG support network of ladies ready and willing to sing your praises as you share your success. Hold your hand as you share your fears and frustrations. And lift you up and set you back on your feet when you wobble. We have all been there or will be. This is not a journey you can go alone. "You've Got a Friend" (or a hundred). Hmmm, I think I should have been on the music committee. Next year, you people better watch out. Bring your "Boogie Shoes". (Ok, really, now it is just getting out of hand!)
Ok so these came on the radio on the drive home. They are probably a stretch but if nothing else, it will should make you smile. I tried to tie them back to tonight since I knew I was going to blog using songs so here is what I came up with.
Let it Whip by The Dazz Band
I sense something divine in you
~So let it whip
Let's whip it baby~ (and by it, I mean Diabetes. I mean the guilt, the shame, the denial, the loneliness.) We are all in this together (Now I am just repeating myself. Definitely time for bed).
Patrick Hernandez - Born to be Alive
~It's good to be alive
To be alive
To be alive~
I mean really, what is the alternative? What will you miss? Who will miss you?
Take care ladies. See ya in about 7 hours for pictures and a really early walk.
We'll always be together.
A wop ba-ba lu-mop a wop bam boom
April 9, 2011
I don't want to sound like a debbie downer but...
I have once again had a really rought week. In church today we learned that we need to be grounded in God and not in our circumstances. I have been bad at that lately. I even called to make an appointment to got back to my original dosage of my antidepressant. (sigh)
Last Saturday I rear-ended a tahoe, twice the size of my Hyundai Sonata. It was deemed a total loss so now I have the joys of finding a reasonable replacement car. A job I interviewed for I found out that I did not get and remain in the inner circle of hell that I call my job. These downs, caused me to through caution to the wind and self-medicate with food. For the last weeks I have been on this weight loss plan overseen by a doctor. I was doing pretty well. Lost 9 lbs. My blood sugars were excellent and I was even considering sending the insulin pump back since I was FINALLY seeing some progress. Then, the rug got pulled out from underneath and I ate my way through the last 7 days. Gaining 3 of the pounds back and feeling so guilty about it, I haven't checked my sugars in days.
We as diabetics do not have the luxury of putting out disease and our health on hold for these meltdowns. Eating a pound of chocolate does not simply affect our weight and our mental state, it affects our well being. Our bodies are under attack. I have to find a better way of dealing with this bad days because it is going against my faith and causes havoc on my body.
I am getting back on track and refocusing on doing what is best for me. My week of rebellion is over for now and I am moving forward.
Looking forward to the Weekend for Women coming up and meeting some of y'all.
March 27, 2011
I am finally getting my insulin pump this week. I also got the bill.
After deductibles and my % of the balance, I still owe several hundred dollars. I am hopeful this works and thankful I have insurance. I can't imagine having this disease and not having help with its cost. I suspect that this is a disease prevalent in the african american community. Traditionally less fornutate in the insurance and disposable income realms. It makes me sad to think of the care they are missing out and how fortunate I am. This is quite a hit on the budget of course and thankfully I can work out payments but how can people get better when things are sooooo expensive. It was quite the eye opener. So I expect my package on Tuesday and will schedule training with my doctor shortly thereafter. I am apprehensive about it and also hopeful. We'll see how it goes.
March 21, 2011
Help stop diabetes!
Tomorrow is Diabetes Alert day. An opportunity to get the word out about diabetes and share your story.
In my diabetes journey my numbers have been really, really good the last week. I survived week 1 of my weight loss program which is hard. It is 6 "meal replacements". I am still adapting and of course this is not something I can sustain for an extended period. It is just a dramatic step for the time being. A jumpstart. However, it is nice to see the numbers. I was 84 one day and wasn't shaky and confused and such as other times when I had a "low". I felt great. I hope this continues after I transition back to real food and better habits. This is just a start.
In my weight loss program my doctor recommend agave nectar. Anybody have experience with this? I have heard both good and bad things about it. I discovered that sugar-free stuff does not agree with me due to the use of sugar alcohols. I think the agave nectar has a similar affect on me. It is supposed to have a low glycemic index but I think the 'side effects' for me are just not worth the effort. I am going back to my truvia. I actually baked with it this weekend and my items were great hits. Weight watchers cream cheese and truvia made for a better choice for a diabetic. I didn't even over endulge. I am proud of me. Woohoo! Hopefully I will continue my success on my weight loss journey and getting my diabetes managed. Continuing towards progress. That makes me happy.
March 13, 2011
I just finished reading this Oprah Book Club book of years ago. Thank goodness for books on CD.
I thoguth this was an appropriate title for my blog this week as I have been flighty, and unfocused and lazy and have gotten behind in so many ways. I started my program with Dr. Schmidt at the Center for Weight Loss. It is harder than I thought it would be. I didn't realize how much my day centered around food. This decrease in caloric intake for the day has me undone for sure. I started on Friday and had "cheated" by 6pm Friday night. I was starving. I truly think my plan is too low for me. I am not a petite girl so I think I need more calories than your average person. I am calling her tomorrow to discuss. I can see why this is accelerated because you are on the verge of starvation. I can't see how that is good for you but she is a doctor and I have to check in with her weekly for tests so she must know something.
I do see my blood sugar numbers lower. Except for Saturday nigth which was my predetermined cheat night. I had a hot chocolate and that raised my sugar (sigh). Anyway, hopefully if I can make it through these 5.5 weeks, I will be a little thinner and my meds will be reduced. My college friends were in town, thus the cheat night. We hadn't been together in nearly 20 years. Oh, I guess that gives away my age. Anyway, Michelle raved about the pump as well. She said her mom has become a new person since she has been on it. Hmmm, all this praise in favor of getting the pump I wonder why everyone doesn't get one. I still await results from a blood test to see if I am approved for it so we continue on my plan for now and see how the Victoza works out.
Off to bed to dream of all the food I can't eat for the next few weeks. I need to retrain my brain to see the new look, the improved healthy and shopping I will get to do.
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