My roller-coaster beasty, Diabetes

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So, I have been struggling like a demon to tame the beast that is my blood sugar levels. I am finally with a team that seems to be making somewhat progress, however, I feel like it's just not enough.

I have been diabetic for just over 21 years and man, what a wild ride it has been. Cardiac Arrest, more than once, DKA's -more than I can count, Bi-lateral carpal and cubitol releases, PCOS, 3 open Nissen Fundoplication surgeries, Gall bladder removal, and most recently, diabetic mastopathy - one which has been removed, but has started re-growing and on the otherside a lovely large lump!

The DMP alone, is driving me insane, because it's so freaking rare that people don't seem to know what to do, and especially because I am not Pre-Menopausal and my lumps hurt - a LOT and the are popping up incredibly aggressively. I feel so lost and messed up about this.

I have been been at insane A1c levels, ranging from 16.8 to my current of 8.5, with my best being in April of 7.2.

I am highly insulin dependent, but also insanely resistant, so that's fun!

My weight has always been an issue, which is funny, because before the diabetes - I was a skinny kid, and now at 31 I am the fat kid.

My healthcare team are trying trying me on a very low calorie diet (800 kj per day) to try combat some of my resistance, however, I feel like if I try the yummier stuff on their recommended foods, and don't stick to plain steamed broccoli and lemon juice, neither my blood sugars nor my weight respond, and this is frustrating the hell out of me - is my life ahead to simply be a vanilla shake 3 times a day with 2 cups of steamed broccoli a day? How utterly depressing is that?!

I don't know if I have a question as such, I guess I just need to get this off my chest, because honestly the weight of it all is just driving me into the darkest of places.

Posted about 7 months ago