On the Precipice

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Hello. Tomorrow I will see an eye surgeon for a preoperative appointment for a fast growing cataract. I am only 47.

Years ago I was found to have high blood sugar levels. I tried to diet. I tried to exercise. I knew I wasn't being successful. So I avoided having more lab work. I have no idea what my levels are at this point. Now I find myself in the exact place I did not want to be.

Feeling scared is only the tip of the iceberg. No one seems to understand. Feeling defeated. How am I going to be successful with lifestyle changes to prevent further complications. I couldn't do it before, so how am I going to do it now.

My anxiety has been building all day. I don't want to have surgery. I don't want to have diabetes. I don't want to have further complications from diabetes. I am mad and angry and I only have myself to blame.

Where do I even start to make the changes I need to make. One step at a time, sure, but I am not even sure what steps to make. I need light. I need inspiration. I need help to figure all this out.

Posted about 11 months ago