The last few months I’ve been struggling with not taking insulin, at first to self harm but now to keep weight off. I am so scared to return to my old body and I fear gaining weight. I feel ask if I am so stuck and will not be able to change. I take my lantus every night but I don’t take my short acting to cover food and my high blood sugars. I aim for them to be high so that I develop ketones and lose weight. Everyone in my life is so worried about me and it makes me feel far more guilty and it makes my depression and anxiety worse which has lead to other form of self harm. I want to want to get better but I am not there yet. I keep saying “oh yeah next week” then it comes and I’m too scared.
Most people I have spoken to have already gone through the recovery process. I feel so alone and I’m just try g to find someone or some people that feel the same way I do. Is anyone in the same boat?