Eye injections, Shame

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I wondered if someone could lend some insight about the necessary monthly eye injections for some people with retinopathy. My first injections are tomorrow. I am nervous about it - I'm the person who would flinch in the chair and risk poking my eye out! I asked my PCP for something to relax me and she prescribed an ativan. I plan to take this prior to my appointment - my sisters are bringing me since my husband won't be home. While I'm nervous about the actual needles in my eyes, it's more that I feel sad about it. I'm not sad because of the monthly appointments and the inconvenience and discomfort that they might cause; as anyone with diabetes knows, it's a disease that brings both discomfort and inconvenience with it. It's more that I feel ashamed. I have had diabetes for over 35 years and have been extremely lucky. My A1C is down to 7 and below, but for many years it was uncontrolled and up to 8 with lots of fluctuation. Still, I have always exercised, never drank or smoked and eat well. That said, I wasn't doing enough right to control my diabetes and now I'm seeing the consequences. For some reason I always avoided counting carbs and using a pump - horrible mistake! I began using a pump three years ago and it has been amazing and I've seen wonderful results. So, beyond the ick factor of having needles in my eyes... I'm feeling some shame and sadness over my in ability to keep this disease under control for so many years. I am grateful that I am so proactive and see my doctors regularly. I would love to hear how others deal with some of the emotional costs of diabetes. I'm such a hopeful person and am known as a bit of a Pollyanna and strong, but right now, I'm grappling with this new treatment and feeling kind of down.

Posted about 2 weeks ago