The last “update” I did on how I was doing with everything was in the fall for events that happened in August. For the most part things calmed down and went well for a few months. but I still didn’t trust my body. I haven’t really wanted to talk about things not working well too much. I’m tired of talking about it, and in my mind… maybe if I don’t admit it outloud, everything’s okay, right?
Well- everything was fine until the end of November. Continuous birth control was working. I wasn’t having a period at all. Now I have “goals.” I know what’s like not to be miserable when I don’t have a period. I felt better. My blood sugars were stabilizing. The pain was minimal. I felt stronger. I was sleeping better. I could go on with how I felt those first few months. Superficially? My skin was clearing up and hair growth all over my body was slowing down. Seriously, I could keep going. Yet, I still didn’t trust my body. Sometimes, I wonder if I ever will?
So, then comes November. I agreed with the doctors to let my body have my period after 3 months and then decide from there about next steps. Well, my period was miserable. Around mid-November, I started “spotting.” I’m trying to ignore it because I want to believe it’s just spotting, but this small part of me is recognizing the period-like symptoms. I have the pain, but I can take meds for that. I start to really pay attention when the insomnia and impact on my blood sugars hit.
I want to be wrong about not trusting my body. I want it to be over, but I made an appointment with the nurse practitioner (NP)I feel comfortable with.
At this appointment, she says that I need to see a doctor at my next appointment, but I feel comfortable with her. We decide to double dose for a few days which really messed up my stomach. Double-dosing helped me for a little bit, but after a few weeks (in mid-December), my period is happening again. We then decide to force another period which was hell all over again. Over the next few weeks, nothing really changed. My period was still showing up even with the steps we took.
In January, I set up another appointment. When I first tried, I was told I couldn’t get one for over 3 months. I contacted the NP because I couldn’t wait that long. She got me into an appointment with another doctor a few weeks later.
I just don’t want to have another period which I stressed to this new doctor.
Then she begins to explain how the cycle works- in 7th grade terms-, and I know this isn’t going to work out. She then lectures about needing to take the birth control at the same time every day… I HAVE SO MANY CHRONIC ILLNESSES! REALLY? Of course I take it all at the same time every day-within an hour- but usually the same exact time.
Then she starts to blame the fact I’ve been on some kind of birth control since I was 14- and maybe I should go 3-6 months without it. NO!
She then asks me what I want, and I share the same story I’ve been sharing. I feel like she isn’t listening to me either or even reading my chart when I reference appointments and experiences.
At first she pushes, no birth control, but we “settle” on no birth control for 3-5 days then switching to a new one. Let’s just say…. this was the worst period I’ve had since probably the summer. I was miserable. During this time, I decided to do something I should have done at the beginning, I ask for recommendations. Recommendations have been my best always, and of course- the diabetes community delivered- with flying colors and a lot of recommendations for providers in my area. I’m hoping for the best.
I then had my endo appointment a few days later. Since this all started about 6 months ago, my a1c has gone up 1.4 points… My endo agrees that having a period is not good for me-. It’s really the only thing she can attribute to my increase in a1c. During the appointment, I got really upset, and she tried to calm me down.
Now- as I’m getting ready to watch the Super Bowl this weekend, I’m “spotting” again (with only a few weeks on the new pills). It’s painful and the insomnia is really hitting me. I know it’s a new pill, and I know it takes time to adjust, but I don’t want to be miserable. I haven’t noticed any impact on my blood sugars- yet.. but time will tell.
I still don’t trust my body. I hope that one of these new recommendations will come through. I just want someone to listen to me. The goal would be for someone to want things better based off of what my periods do to me.. but I wonder if an increase of 1.4 on my a1c (making it the highest it’s been since high schoo)l will do the trick?