Can A Person Age Gracefully?

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I think only the old can "grow old gracefully". Sounds weird, huh. What I mean is that when you reach retirement age you know more, have experienced more, and realize that there is no way to be but graceful. Or, you can be crabby, cranky, and just downright cantankerous. I like graceful better.
Posted about 6 years ago
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Does gravity know about this plan???

Laurie P., Moderator
:P
Posted about 6 years ago
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I think it's a matter of attitude. If you let age and what comes with it define you, then yes... you're going to be cranky. Choosing the graceful is a much better option.

My grandmother died when she was 102. She was graceful, funny and loving until she left.
Posted about 6 years ago
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I still remember my grandmother (who was 45 when I was born) saying she couldn't WAIT till she got old and could get away with saying whatever she wanted! I, for one, have never been accused of being graceful so instead, I choose to grow older in a classy fashion!
Posted about 6 years ago
I always thought that "growing old gracefully" meant not spending money or wasting time on products/procedures/wardrobe items/etc. that are designed to make you "look" younger. Sure, you do your best to look good, but you don't try to look half your age.

I found my first grey hair at 25, started dyeing my hair (under protests from my Gram) after my divorce, and quit dyeing it after i started dating a man a month younger than my Mom. I'm now 43, and every time I tell someone that they express shock.

I also have a photo in my archives (attached) that portrays three maternal generations--grandmother, mother, and I--with a calendar prominently featured in the background. NONE of us looked our age! Gram was 79, Mom was 53, and I was 35. Aside from the caption, the photo has NOT been retouched in any way.
Posted about 6 years ago
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:kiss:I tend to agree -- that going out with grace is a far classier way to go! In this day, it will be remembered more than the grumpy, cranky people because there are so many of them.
My husband's grandmother died in 2009 at the wonderful age of 104. She was frail, but she had all of her mental sharpness and that was what made losing her so difficult. Oddly enough, she used to say that she had outlived all of her friends and she was tired of being alone. Sad in a way, but often what's real is sad.
Grandma was the kindest, gentlest woman I have ever known next to my own Mother.
As far as how to age gracefully with diabetes. Well, as most of you probably know by now, I am 55 and have had type 1 for 45 years -- I think that the same things that people that don't have diabetes do for themselves should be the same things we do for ourselves; you know, eat right, get plenty of sleep, exercise, have a good attitude.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted about 6 years ago
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i'm 65 and don't know how graceful i am, LOL.  i truly doubt anyone would call me graceful, i've always been a rather feisty, passionate and rowdy type, i threw myself headlong into life and never looked back.  sure, i'm an old old woman now, but i am still passionate about my many causes (anti-fracking, ecology, women's rights, domestic abuse, political candidates, funding for the arts and poetry, oh i love love love poetry).  I grew up and was educated, raised my family in the north..... economics has forced me into the south for cheaper property taxes, but i am far from the gentile southern belle.  I have to say, I so so so enjoy the show on Bravo, Jersey Belle, as it so so exemplifies my situation.  An ex-joisey-tomata having to put up with these stricter social attitudes, people down here SEEM so polite because they will smile sweetly, just demur with "bless your heart" and then turn around and tear you ribbons behind your back.  Not my style.  I prefer honesty and forthrightness and don't think i have to be rude or abrasive by speaking my mind and being totally upfront, but I also don't have to be a shrinking violet type who stays out of the fray.  I like the fray, I like a good discussion and if it leads to battle, fine!!!!!


So aging gracefully for me does not mean I have to put up or shut up or just be less involved or passionate, but it always has meant, for me at least, the excess exertion and total obsession with youthfulness and looking youthful.


I never was one to live with make up all over my face or prone to wear heels three inches or higher, hello?   Why should I be the one who had the onus on her to look "sexy" or beautiful.  I always thought way too much emphasis was placed on outer beauty and was perfectly happy to go through life looking exactly like me, my only concession to beauty was a plucked eyebrow every now or then, maybe some lip gloss occasionally and yeah, for my wedding, I did wear a swoosh of mascara and a bit of blusher.  Never in my life did i ever use foundation, eye-shadow, high-lighters, concealers yadda yadda yadda.  I NEVER bought into designer ANYTHING....was never into status symbols.  Why women have to deck themselves out like over-wreaked peacocks I'll never know.  I was lucky to find me a nice man who loved me just the way I was and never forced me into some "sexy" mold.


But i do have to say, that now that I am sixty five, and the first lines have popped out, it is distressing.   I was very very lucky, genetics must play a major part in aging because I must have good genes that over rode the ravages of me lying out in the sun for whole days, every day, lathered in baby oil and with aluminum screens under my face so I could be tan tan tan and ever more tan during the 60's and 70's.  I roasted daily during summer, starting in May and only giving up as the September sun weakened.  I remember WANTING freckles, lol, I thought they made me look adorable and the tan made me look healthy and fitter than I was (I always carried about 10-15 pounds too much as a teenager)..... and I even added some creamed hydrogen peroxide streaks into my brown hair to give me that sun drenched look.  I gave up that routine when i was around 25, in 1974, But now, even at age 65, there are no age spots and even as I was yanked into menopause at age 43 because I had cancer, I do not show any signs of age like deep wrinkles, sure i have those deeper lines, those parentheses on either side of my mouth, I have bags under my eyes, but amazingly, I have no wrinkles!!!!!!! (well, when i smile, i can see them starting to make inroads, lol)  Most people think I am 50 and I have to credit this to genetics, my grandmother and mother looked very young when my age, and I think the excess weight i carry must help, I laughingly declare lines and wrinkles can't make inroads in my fat.  Although I have lost around 40 pounds since my diabetes diagnosis since March of this year, maybe as I lose weight, I will start to age, I do not know.  But I AM concerned about looking old now.   OCCASIONALLY,  I WILL buff on bare minerals mineral veil because it evens out the red blotches i do see in my complexion now, my complexion is not as flawless as it always had been, I do wear mascara because i think it helps focus people on my lovely brown eyes and not the bags under them, I will swish on some blusher too, as I feel it brightens my face to give it a glow....i feel my elderly face is very washed out.  I was never one to use these products when young, but if I have to be out in the public presenting something, public speaking, I do try to even out the skin tone and perk myself up with blush and a bit of lipstick and this was something I would never do when I was younger.  Does this mean I am not aging gracefully?  I don't know.  And I absolutely hate myself for even  thinking I  reserve that phrase for those who go in for facelifts, boob-lifts, tummy tucks, who feel oh so so insecure with their gravity ravaged body.  I do feel sorry for women who cannot now, at this late stage of the game, after a lifetime of the achievements of working hard, raising a family, juggling work and all the stresses and strains,  still cannot rely on their inner beauty and not the outter trappings of beauty. They are still feeling pressured to fit into someone elses idea of what constitutes beauty, what it means to be truly beautiful.  Hello?  DEFINE BEAUTY FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!
 BUT that is so so judgemental of me.  Who am I to say to any woman what they do to their body is wrong????    No, I will never resort to extreme measures of surgery to keep me younger, yes, now as I start to feel the aging process, I do wish to have smoother skin with less splotches and I do use a serum with retin-A in it to hopefully keep the lines from getting too deep, but that is as far as I will go.   And I'm still gonna be feisty and passionate about all the important issues I feel I need to fight for, they don't call us the fighting Irish for nothing, LOL, but the bigger issue is:  Why is there even the onus of "aging gracefully" put on a woman???????   I don't hear it ever applied to men.  Why must women meet any standard, any pre-conceived  notion of how she MUST BEHAVE, MUST LOOK, SHOULD LOOK?????   Just who are these social arbiters still screaming at us to look young, or buy this designer handbag, or wear this style jeans or you just ain't cool or with it?  When will this insanity end????    I say a woman should just do what she feels like without succumbing to social pressure, just listen to her own heart and her own reasons and every else be damned.  We've come a long way baby, lol and I don't do anything anyone tells me to do anymore.  been there. done that.  lived under those strictures as a young woman and not going to return to that insanity of thought. Maybe that is why as a young woman I did not bow to pressure to wear makeup to "look better or sexy".  Growing up in the 50's and 60's women did not have many freedoms, we had narrow limits and horizons and had to keep our behavior and dreams very low key.  My one statement of rebellion was not to wear high heels or make up, to push past the boundaries of what I "should do or say as NICE young lady". I wore (as my mother moaned,) those ugly clogs in 1963, some twenty years before they became popular,  I scandalized my highschool showing up in a mini skirt in 1966. I always believed no one had the right to tell me how i want to look.   I do what I want to do because I deem it is best for me.  Aging gracefully?  Really???? Aging is hard enough folks. And if I don't do it under your graceful guidelines just know I am happy to be glorious plain old me.


big and loud P.S.      And, should I decide in a few years when the deep lines do make inroads to use Botox to battle them?  I will!!!!!!!  So put that in your graceful pocket and button it up!!!!!  :)  :)  :)
Posted about 6 years ago