In Denial

Type 2 Diabetes Blog

In Denial

Well, it feels great to be here. This is my first blog for DS and I am very excited to share my thoughts, feelings, ideas, trials, tribulations and temptations.  My goal here is to get us all talking, sharing and helping each other with our day to day wins and losses due to diabetes.

Just to give you a bit of my history. I had gestational diabetes with both my pregnancies. Fast forward to 52 years old with multiple symptoms glaring at me.  My symptoms were classic and not so classic, so I thought.

Excessive thirst, frequent urination, blurred vision, thrush and oh let’s not forget the fan favorite…those awesome yeast infections. My numbers were 533 when the doctor’s office called me at work and said please get in here now. I waited an hour and half before I actually left, thinking this can’t be that much of an emergency can it?

As I was driving to the doctor’s office, I must say I was not shocked.  The reality of this diagnosis came into view as the office staff escorted me right into the examining room. Very odd sense I usually had to wait a half hour past my schedule appointment time.  The nurse spent a good hour educating me and introducing me to my soon to be new best friend …my glucometer.  Then came all the instructions for all the paraphernalia that went with it. I am never going to remember all this stuff she is rattling off to me. Little did I know that high sugar numbers and confusion walked hand in hand.

Then to make it even more wonderful the doctor come in and starts writing these prescriptions for way to many drugs. Remember feeling overwhelmed thinking I need to take insulin the rest of my life along with this drug called metformin and simvastatin for cholesterol?  Oh and let’s not forget the drug for depression. Depression? Was I depressed?  Just in case you feel you need it she says. What???

The drugs and all the testing of my blood that they wanted me to do was a bit shocking and I wondered can I do this? Will I do this? How important is it that I test my blood four times a day? Are these guys serious?

Two and half hours later I left with my grocery bag of “goodies” and drove home with my doctor’s note stating that I would be out of work for at least a week. Well that part was pretty cool at least.

Driving home I had to drive past my favorite Italian pastry shop and I of course I drove right past it…..NOT.

I pulled into the parking lot, strutted in and proceeded to purchase two cheese cannoli…I ate them both on the way home.

 I would soon realize I did not take this diabetes thing seriously and continued eating my beloved sweets, Italian bread, mashed potatoes and M&M’s. I loved to cook and bake and continued to do what I loved.

Thankfully, through none of my families nagging,  it dawned on me that if I wanted to see my boys graduate from college, get married and play with those grandbabies they would someday have I better get my act together. I needed to get this diabetes thing in check for myself and also to establish a good example to my family. This family needed me to be healthy.

 I am a huge Googler, meaning I research everything on the web, from what toilet paper is best to only using recipes with five stars. C’mon I know a few of you can relate.   

These sites where telling me to embrace vegetables taking up ¾ of the space on my plate along with a protein.  Limit my visits to my favorite Italian pastry shop for my cannolis? I should limit my carbs, sweets and life as I knew it. I was getting more depressed the more I read.

Unfortunately for me this was making me want to make a batch of brownies and gorge on them even more.  Needless to say I am sad to say that I didn’t change a thing for several weeks and continued happily in denial while buttering my big bowl of mashed potatoes and grabbing a cheese Danish for dessert.

I am happy to say that I came to my senses and decided to I needed to get healthy for me and for my family and friends that needed me.  I am now eating healthier. Exercise is still a challenge, but I vow to work on that.


So tell me how is your diet and how do you handle diet challenges????????


I have to share that my carbohydrate addiction is still prevalent, despite being a Type 1 Diabetic for over 20 years. (I was diagnosed in 1992, at 10.) Between being in severe denial for many, many years, and now being a Mom to 2, with #3 on the way, I am challenged EVERY day. I DO love my veggies, (well, most of them, anyway), but I never fill my plate with 3/4 full of them. It's usually 1/3 veggies, 1/3 carb, and 1/3 protein - but my hardest times of the day are low blood sugars, (I panic due to a past of seizures, and over eat), and late at night, (8-11..after kids are in bed, and being pregnant, I am hungry even more now!). Also, I love to bake, (Freshly home-baked Chocolate Chip Cookies have been my uber-weakness this past holiday season), and have contemplated starting to use Splenda in my baking, (since it's available and a better option carbohydrate wise), but haven't as of yet. (It's expensive.) Plan to starting this week, since hubby is begging me to make more cookies. (Doesn't help...LOL.) I also love my salty snacks (pretzels, popcorn), and cheese. Have tried eating peanuts, but they just don't hit that "spot". Trying to drink a lot of water and green tea, and am running into issues with insulin requirements (they seem to double with certain foods now, and my basal rates need to be adjusted up, as well...which we all know...more insulin, more weight gain because you are hungrier more, and therefore eat more!!! :/ ) As for exercise, I still don't actively do any, except for running around after a 5 year old and 17 month old. Other than that, I just try to walk whenever possible. (I park further away at stores, I walk to my daughters bus stop, to the mail box, to the garbage dumpsters, etc. ) No one ever told me this would be easy. They tried to tell me "things could be worse", and that I had control over myself and my body, and blood sugars based on what I ate and my insulin requirements. Then, seizures started, and I was utterly lost. No one "got" it. Everyone pitied, but no one told me to seek counseling, or to admit I was in denial. I had to come to those conclusions on my own, after many, many years - and after I checked my pride at the door. Every day has it's challenges, but we are stronger than them if we can mentally, emotionally, and physically commit ourselves to doing the best we can for ourselves, and our families. I am wishing you much strength, and hope that you find daily inspiration to eat better and do well. God Bless!
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Submitted by Mommyto3081214 on Mon, 01/13/2014 - 1:50pm