February 3, 2011
For me, the New Year brings a new work environment with its own set of rewards and challenges. Over the past 3 ½ years I have worked from home where I have been able to maintain reasonable control over my environment. Considering that I have a severe allergy to Latex and other environmental pollutants, working from home was a good option . . . but it has not been the work I was born to do. This transition is therefore one of great expectation, along with awareness of my need to maintain balance with respect of my physical limitations.
In the past my tendency to take responsibility for myself AND everyone else has been less than helpful . . . driven by a need to repeatedly outdo myself as if trying to somehow prove that I was good enough. My health declined as my body could no longer hold up to the stress . . . and the past 4 years have led me along a path of recovery, solitude, and recognition of the things that matter MOST.
So, as my way of commemorating this transition, and challenging my ability to respect my limitations, I went in 2 weeks before my Endo appointment to have my A1C drawn . . . just to be certain I received full credit for the committed work I have done! It was 5.9 . . . but as I showed Doc my blood sugar logs of the following 2 weeks he said . . . “so we’re starting over again.”
He is so profoundly right . . . not simply because every little change in my life requires fine tuning of my insulin delivery (as my Pituitary Gland was damaged in an accident and is no longer able to kick in and adapt to even minor change), but also because I am faced with a new opportunity to find balance.
It would be unrealistic to expect that my next A1C will be that good . . . but it provides incentive to pay attention to my speed humps, while doing the things that matter most!