Swearing at My CGM: When Diabetes Just Feels Hard

Bing bing bing  #@%&#$

Beep beep beep &@$^&*

That’s the sound of my continuous glucose monitor (CGM) alerting me to out-of-range glucose, followed by a string of expletives streaming from my mouth. And when this happens, it’s my first sign that I’m drifting into diabetes distress.

Diabetes just isn’t “easy”

Sometimes I catch myself thinking my diabetes management should feel simple by now. After all, I was diagnosed way back before glucose meters and automated insulin delivery. I remember urine testing and exchange diets, and my mom mixing two types of insulin in a syringe and injecting me.

Diabetes management has evolved so much in the past four decades. And yet diabetes is still hard some days.

The frustration creeps in

I’m doing what I’m “supposed” to do. I count carbohydrates. I dose my insulin. I watch my trends. I make small adjustments as needed. I do all the things that decades of living with diabetes have taught me to do.

And still…sometimes my glucose does whatever it wants.

This week, everything I eat sends my numbers skyrocketing, even the same foods I’ve eaten for weeks. Same carb content, same bolus timing, same everything – except now my CGM greets me with an up arrow after each meal, then the High Glucose alarm, and a bunch of very unladylike words from me.

Next week, I might find myself struggling to keep my glucose levels up – same routines, completely opposite results on my CGM. And once again, the beeping starts, followed by a few choice words from me.

When the alarms keep coming, and nothing seems to work, the emotional weight of diabetes starts to pile up. The constant decision-making. The math. The vigilance. The feeling that no matter how hard I try, diabetes still has the upper hand.

This feeling has a name: diabetes distress.

What Is diabetes distress?

Diabetes distress isn’t the same as burnout or depression, though it can overlap with both. Diabetes distress is the emotional strain that comes from managing a condition that requires attention every single day.

It can show up as frustration, guilt, anger, or exhaustion. Sometimes, it’s feeling overwhelmed by the constant data. Other times, it’s the sense that diabetes is turning every management decision into a battleground.

For me, it shows up exactly like those CGM moments of rising or falling glucose numbers, alarms, and a few choice words directed at the universe.

Diabetes distress is normal

It’s even expected.

Research suggests that many people with diabetes experience it at some point. In fact, it would almost be surprising if we didn’t. Managing diabetes requires hundreds of decisions every day, and the outcomes aren’t always predictable.

That unpredictability is exhausting.

When diabetes feels extra hard

Some weeks, diabetes seems to cooperate. My numbers behave. My routines work. And other weeks?

Hormones shift. Stress creeps in. Sleep is off. Illness, travel, or even a change in the weather can throw things sideways. Suddenly, the strategies that worked last week stop working this week.

When that happens, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking I’ve done something wrong.

But diabetes isn’t a math equation with a guaranteed answer. It’s a biological system interacting with dozens of variables, many of which we can’t see or control.

For a perfectionist like me, the hardest part of diabetes is accepting that perfection isn’t possible.

What helps when distress shows up

Over the years, I’ve learned that the best response to diabetes distress isn’t to push harder or try to “fix” everything immediately.

Instead, it helps to pause and reset. This can mean that sometimes I:

• Temporarily set my CGM high alarm a little higher. I might change it from 170 to 200 for a week or two, so the beeping lets up a bit.
• Step away from “aiming for perfection” for a little while and focus on the next small decision rather than the entire day.
• Talk with someone who understands  – another person living with diabetes or a close friend.
• Check in with my healthcare provider for advice on adjustments.
• Take time for my mental health. I might do some meditation, go for a walk outdoors, write in my journal, or just relax with my favorite binge-worthy television show.
• Simply give myself permission to acknowledge what I’m feeling because diabetes is hard some days. Even after four decades, with the latest technology, and when I’m doing everything “right.” 

So if your CGM has you muttering a few expletives this week, know that you’re not alone. That moment of frustration might just be your signal, like my CGM alarm, that it’s time to take a breath, show yourself some grace, and remember that managing diabetes is a marathon, not a perfect performance.